Ch-ch-changes!

Inspired by Wil Weatons constant chronicle of the changes he makes in his life I want to implement this as well. Because I’m the queen of procrastination and maybe this is going to keep me accountable. Currently my Bulletjournal is keeping me the most accountable but I want to record my change somewhere else as well.

First things first: No matter how much you try to optimize your life at some point you start to question everything. Why always but the effort in to constant change and then get frustrated if you don’t see any visible change? You either way love it or hate it. Believe me I have days at well where I say ‘screw it all!’ but due to a recent podcast by Lavendaire I go with the ‘Fake it till you become it’. Because at some point all those changes will feel natural and easier. The first step is always the hardest, you know.

I love self-optimizing until some degree. The genres ‘Self-help’ and ‘popular science’ have become my #1 fun. I do not only read those books, I EAT them! I churn through so many so quickly that I wonder if I’ll be able to read another genre. (and I still have unread fantasy books laying around) I’m so drawn to this kind of books.
There may not be as many categories of things I want to change but I’ll like to start small and then add things later.

1. Reading:
I get an A+ for the last week on this so I definitely want to keep up with this and if I don’t keep myself accountable for this than I’ll end up watching TV for the rest of my life. I’m a slow reader and I only read when I feel like it UNLESS it’s a popular science or self-help book. For those who care: I read in the evenings 1 – 2 hours before bedtime. I tried reading through daytime in the train to work and back but I’m just so not into it. Just doesn’t work. I always carry my books/kindle around with me but I just don’t read in the train. I love to stare at the landscape and just let my thoughts go. BUT I definitely want to read more. I have a huge stack of unread books and I want/need to read them all as soon as I can before I buy new ones.

2. Buying minimalistic:
This is not your common minimalism this is buying minimalistic. I have the case that I sometimes (or probably many more times I’ll like to admit) buy things I don’t really really need or just buy them for the sake of owning with no other purpose. I have to stop that. I’m neither that wealthy that I don’t need to care for money nor is it necessary and I fucking hate that over excessively buying society has become. I want to break this for my own sake. Not only to save money but oh boy, I have so much stuff already that I actually don’t need and I don’t want to add to it. Look around yourself. You have SO much. I just don’t. I give you an example from yesterday: I already have a very quality water coloring set but I wanted to buy a Cotman Pocket set just for the sake of having it. I stopped myself in the tracks and put it back on the shelf. It wasn’t even that expensive but it was unnecessary and pointless to get another one.

3. Writing:
I should put this as the first point but it goes hand in hand with reading anyway. I want to write more. No matter what it is I want to write and no matter the quality. I just want to write.
I’ve read Hal Elrods ‘The Miracle Morning’ and have had many people suggest the morning pages method but that just doesn’t work with me. Even though I love writing long hand. My morning is just too different to sit down and write. I like to clean or tidy up to make me feel energized and accomplished.

4. Being mindfull/put in the extra step/permission to enjoy:
I put those points together else wise this would be a loooong list of changes. I want to be more mindfull in the present instead of wishing days away until some point in the future. I wait with things far too much!
‘The extra step’ kind of self explanatory but I want to go the extra mile, take the extra step and put the extra amount of effort into things.
I know this might sound strange to some people but I have a very hard time giving myself the permission to enjoy something. The last time I enjoyed a book so much that it sucked me into the story like I was literally there has been a very very long time ago. I miss this childish/juvenile innocent and imagination! The time I was so seemingly carefree that I could just do anything and be fully into it. I cannot enjoy things anymore and allow myself to because I still have no regular income or stable job. Yes, this is the issue and it’s so wrong. So basically no one who doesn’t have a job is not allowed to enjoy anything. This so wrong on so many level I can’t even. That’s why I have enough of my stupid and restrictive self and give myself the permission to enjoy and do whatever I want no matter the circumstances.
I put in the effort to change my situation therefore I’m also allowed to enjoy other things fully. Full stop.
Personal and spiritual development goes in this category as well.

5. Health:
My body isn’t 17 anymore and I cannot brush things off that easily anymore like back then. Therefore I have to do something and my recurring back issues aren’t fun. That’s why I will do something for it. Less sugar, more walking and exercise for my back.

Disclaimer: Above all of those things is still the point that I fully accept myself the way I am and that mistakes or hick ups are completely okay and normal.
That’s why I only add things to my life and not make a list of things I want to stop. (I don’t want to annoy anyone by reading a novel-length list of things I want to stop)

The things I started lately:
There are a few things I started lately. Listening to podcasts that I find and seem interesting. It’s not on a daily basis but I listen to more than I did before.
Watching TED talks on Youtube. TV has pretty much been substituted with Youtube and Netflix for me. I still occasionally watch the regular TV channels but they either way have nothing of interest for me or repeat shows and movies over and over again. My opinion: TV here in Germany is pretty bad when it comes to the selection and the quality. Therefore I go for things I want to watch and since I have no issue with the English  language I watch everything in original sub. Lately I typed the two words ‘TED talk’ into Youtube and browse through a few that I find interesting. Sometimes I don’t finish them or skip parts but there is one TED talk I could watch daily and I watched it around 5-6 times in a row now.
And I re-started a craft that I had abandoned for far too long: Drawing and painting. I’ve abandoned it because I wasn’t good enough according to a handful of people. (Yes, insert how stupid I was) but now I’m getting back to it and try to make it a daily exercise. Whether it’s water coloring or sketching. Just something to do to get better every day because practice makes perfect but done is still better than perfect.

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