Last night I watched Doctor Strange. (Don’t worry. No spoilers here or at least not more than the usual content of the trailers and I promise this whole text is less about a comic book adaption)
The synopsis is that an overly eager and ambitious man who is only measuring himself and his worth in the skills he has and the money he possess. His ego is too much. After a tragic accident his precious hands can’t be fixed fully. While he tried everything logical and medical possible he seeks out something very unusual for him and is struck by his disbelieve.
So far for Doctor Strange. The whole movie I felt such a craving for all this ancient-power-part. I know there is more to us than the medical eye can see (no pun intended) and my horizon is far broader than the neurologist one but since a long while there is this underlying craving and longing for something deeper. Those things other people like to distract them their whole life long like TV shows, video games, books or gadgets or drugs or whatever you can think of the modern age to have and use does not hold anything anymore to me.
Those things have lost all their sense and matter to me. What I crave cannot be satisfied by those. Every single time I indulge in those distraction I feel like that’s not right or meant to be to me. Their grip isn’t tight enough on me and I lose interest in them quickly. They don’t serve me in the long run.
Especially this year I feel this craving SO much. It’s like my inside is telling me that those things aren’t true. That there is no substance to it.
Now that I write it out it sounds crazy to me. Too crazy maybe and I’m puzzled by myself. I just feel like there must be more. There has to be. This can’t be it. You wake up, work until your body can’t anymore and then die and during that all you distract yourself with SO many things as possible just not to feel deaths grip on you. That’s not my sense of life.
Definitely not and there must be more. There has to be. And I opened myself up to the spiritual things this year. It was less a discovery than a renewal. Spirituality is nothing new to me but now that I put one foot into it a strong craving awoke.
And while I’m jealous of Doctor Strange to experience the isolated temple (that has still wi-fi. I just wonder how) I’m jealous. Most often the world is too much to me. The internet has become a burden more than it serves. I do not want to be available 24/7 because why should I?
I once lived on the internet for the most time of my day and tried to be completely up to date and it made me sick. I know myself enough to know that total isolation from civilization wouldn’t be that good for me (hello extroverted nature) but I still envy everyone who takes a whole detox of it all. Of the whole modern age. (That is less modern than people might hold it accountable)
I want a cabin in the woods far away and while I crave this I know I can find this space inside of me. Whereas Doctor Strange enters the mirror world there is a safe space inside of us where we can find peace and rest and I still seek out this place.
Yes, yes, this is just a simple comic movie with lots of special effects but the underlying message is still there. There is truth in it. I don’t care if you brush this movie just off and say I should not think more into it than there is. For me there is more in it and I read more into it.
That’s just how I am. And for me it’s less about an over-egoed neurosurgeon and more about us all. All your spiritual mumbo jumbo. I like that a lot.
“We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them.”
– the Ancient One