It’s the end (of the month) as we know it – November edition

Time flies by so quickly I nearly forgot to post this.

( For anyone who was questioning how I would track this: I put everything in my weekly habit tracker in my bulletjournal and then log it into a monthly tracker.)

What a month. Since I track certain things and write recaps here I feel like I’m much more mindful with my months. Like time just doesn’t fly by I’m actually acknowledging it. November had stressful times and restful times. It had times I had to put in effort and times I hadn’t. One of my closest friends had birthday and my cat’s anniversary as well. (We have her since 7 years now)

Due to university I went to the theatre twice this month. Well, I cannot say I regret it because it’s something special that I don’t do regularly but I still felt pressured and not entirely pleasured. It’s still a difference if you do something because you WANT to do it or if you’re obliged to. The further the term goes and the more often I’m forced to leave the house I’m tackling social anxiety that I developed at the beginning of the year more and more. I still feel uncomfortable at times but it’s getting somewhere I think/feel.

Latest obsession: Doctor Strange (I’m so surprised that I still CAN indulge in fandoms and find joy in pop culture! For a long long long time I felt nothing at all when it came to worlds to enjoy whether it was the hobbit or avengers. Sherlock is probably one of the very very few things that sparks my mind, brain, imagination, heart and feelings always at all times. As you know there aren’t many episodes to watch but yet I find myself thinking of it every so often. Also known as writers mind. I just can’t stop making up stories.)
It’s interesting how certain characters in movies can make us feel different than before knowing them. While I like Mr. Strange himself as a superhero the Ancient One (portrayed by the amazing Tilda Swinton) will ultimately be my most favorite part of the movie. She or the character herself IS the way I want to be myself and what I yearn for in my own life. She is incredibly wise yet somehow free minded (care free?) and very calm. Everything she says or does seems to be in align with everything she believes in, her surrounding and she is at all times very calm. I know that this is just a piece of fiction but this is what I want to reach. To be more calm, aligned and yet a little more careless and spiritual.

I’ll watch the movie again at my birthday because I can’t just let it pass and wait until the DVD. Even though it’s expensive I just can’t.
Doctor Strange is a superhero I can relate to. And this is why:

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Knowledge is for me a far higher power than having a bigger stick than others. Knowledge and wisdom are the two highest traits to me.

1. Reading:
I’ve been a good girl and read every day. Not only university stuff but also other things (not including the internet)
A+ but I struggle some days to keep it up.

2. Buying minimalistic:
Scratching this section. I can’t spend money that I don’t have and I definitely have no money currently to buy needless things so this is no longer a thing to think about.

3. Writing:
There goes NaNoWriMo and nothing from me with it. I just couldn’t find the effort and mind for it this year. Too much university. I’d made it a point to study everyday instead. I started to write a fanfiction on the 2nd of November and got 5 pages at the 4th. Since then I didn’t write in that document anymore. Well, I wrote other things. University notes, journaling and blog. Oh, and lots of emails and a long letter.

4. Being mindful/put in the extra step/permission to enjoy:
It’s hard. Not only sometimes but often. This is the reason this section is here to remind me to really do this and so far I’m getting better on it. Not perfect because on some days I just want to be and not put the effort in. This is the most stressful and sadly also terrible time of the year. I remind myself to put in the extra step and gain mental gold stars. This section will be here forever because I make it a point.
I mediated less than I wanted and I miss it terribly.

5. Health:
Hey, I stopped to eat French fries five times a week and now only have it once a week. That’s still an achievement for someone who can barely eat anything outside of the house. I walked a lot. Thanks to university and thanks to work as well I’m outside of the house most of the days. Which is good. I don’t eat that much crap anymore but I still fall back at times. I eat more fruits than sweets and I stopped getting coffee to go in disposable cups and reuse a thermo mug.

I know this has nothing to do with health but with the environment. I just realized how many cups I was throwing away on a weekly basis which doesn’t even make sense to me. This garbage is going somewhere and I do not like that. Therefore I put out my reusable thermo mug and I will carry this around with me or stay at the café to drink coffee from a ceramic mug. I produce too much waste that I don’t like. I also stopped going to Starbucks because I no longer care about flavored milk that claims to be coffee for 5 bucks. It’s not only overly expensive for someone who has no money to spare but I also only prefer black coffee now with a dash of lactose free milk. My taste just changed. Therefore I stopped.

_
Next month 2016 will end and I turn 28 and that’s why I will put it in. Everything I have. I will go to work those countless hours and I will just chuck it in the fuck it bucket and move along because I know I will be thankful later about it. I will study as much as I can. Yes, I live everyday just for the next day instead of the moment of now but as sure as the future comes, there will be another day and another and I will live them all to the fullest. And when 2017 comes I will not be the same person anymore I was before. Because I love change. Even though it’s hard. It gives me hope. It gives me drive. Change is the only constant in life.

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